My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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