I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
