I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
