One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
