idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
