If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
