He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
