Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We were destined to go to rehab together
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
