R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
