Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
