How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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