and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
