I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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