Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
