I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
