i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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