if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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