Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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