Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
