Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
