Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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