She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
