ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
