So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
