so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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