I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Randomize
