The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it's like heaven, but drunker
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
