You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
