Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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