You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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