pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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