This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
