Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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