dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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