You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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