Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I need moral support for this bender
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
