i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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