South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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