i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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