I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
