you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
