Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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