Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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