She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
