What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
either way he was missing a nipple.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
