how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
