you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
