I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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