Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
