i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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