They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
