Don't make out with my wife yet
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
