Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Your cock deserves a montage
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
