I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Help. Why am I so naked?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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