Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I need to sanitize my soul.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have tasted many bathrooms
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
