She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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